I interviewed Patrick Stuart about art in support of his upcoming book, Speak, False Machine, which is active on Kickstarter. Each funding tier will enable new art to be commissioned for the book, so even though it's already been funded, it's important that the project continues to grow.
Industrial-era treasure tables for tech-level ~1920 adventuring.
Index
Treasure Table A: Distinctive Individual Treasure
Treasure Table B: Couture
Treasure Table C: Lifestyle Items
Treasure Table D: Household Goods
Treasure Table E: Consumables
Treasure Table F: Land Vehicles
Treasure Table G: Sea Vehicles
Treasure Table H: Air Vehicles
Treasure Table I: Pets
Treasure Table J: Services, Memberships, and Events
Treasure Table K: Real Estate
Treasure Table L: Common Goons
Treasure Table M: Personnel
Treasure Table N: Diegetic Specialties
The unit of currency is the one ounce gold coin (❂), here equivalent in value to its roughly ~$2000 max in 2020 USD (~£1500 at the time or ~€1750).
Treasure Table A: Distinctive Individual Treasure
d100
1 A statuette of a creature that was created to compete with humanity but failed; not a neanderthal, for these creatures could never have been sexually assimilated. They were regarded as children of the sun, but whether this refers to our sun, or to the Monad, or to the center of the earth is not certain. The rage of these creatures’ creator is incalculable, as instead of destroying, sidelining or absorbing mankind, the creatures were defeated and gave the earliest human civilizations a great confidence boost, a seed of hope that persists unspoken to this day. The shape of this creature is difficult to describe but is essentially a great ocular amoeba covered in sliding plates of chitin that allow trunks of bioelectrically vitiated and continually-molten and reshaping polymer stalks bearing up tens of thousands of free-running and interconnecting polydextrous fibers capable of impossibly-fine manipulations of any substance, knit so close that they’re almost a foam between the stalks but become lengths capable of probing at the ends. The statue is cut from a single piece of greenstone; no museum or expert in carving would ever be able to ascertain how the fine fibers were wrought in stone by methods known to man. Luckily the individual fibers are fabulously resilient despite being thin as a human hair.
1250❂
2 A blade dipped in a cup of blue peony; now it will mark whatever is cut, even to great lengths and depths.
70❂
3 The fetal petrified child of an entity responsible for shaping the rivers of a fertile valley; unable to give it life in the open air despite the contribution of a human, the entity buried it in the valley’s earth as if to vitiate it with the life giving waters. Despite this earthen gestation the water-child did not regain animation, but did retain the mode of the valley distilled within it; if buried in the earth, waters will attend to it and nursemaid the earth in the process, springing rivers to life in otherwise arid land, or overflowing swamps and flood plains with excess.
5000❂
4 Six-inch golden fingernails.
10❂
5 A dagger formed from a suspendium stalactite in an empire of subterranean men enthralled to silicon feelers extending from forbidden caves, reshaping their servants into forms suitable for the ferocity of their methodology. If plunged into a dying heart, the skywardly-magnetic dagger will reform the body but instill a physical regression to a state of stygian servitude; at the finalization of the bloody transformation the transfixed one will have two hundred arms and the nine heads of a hydra spread across their shoulders and uppermost arms, brain linked between them through etheric backchannels.
1500❂
6 A porcelain bottle of stone-softening solvent stained vividly with the blossoming of fruit-bearing towers.
125❂
7 A crystal containing an endolithic retrovirus. It will dig its way in and replace your heart. Your blood will crystallize into almost fractal blossoms with impossibly sharp edges. Your blood is also magnetic; metal touching your flesh will stick to it, though can be pried away without damage. If you’re ever shot or stabbed in the heart, you’re unlikely to die (only 1/4 chance, with +1/4 for each time it’s happened before).
500❂
8 Golden barbed tongue-tip implant.
5❂
9 A petrified and gilded head, the child of a brood cast forth from a father of monstrous hatred and a mother who armed them in opposition to the tyrant. This one was crushed and crumpled in the confrontation and laden with gold from his father’s demigod claw, and yet the crystal tears of the mother or the ruby blood of the father’s wounds may be set innocuously in human jewelry, and if drawn near this relic may bring the maddened father or reclaiming golem-mother to the place where the head is borne.
250❂
10 Vitiating kiviak; the devourer becomes immune to cold and gains unlimited upper body endurance.
1500❂
11 In the earliest days when there were no cities but only farmers and the hunter gatherers who passed between their steads, there was a hunter-gatherer with ten-thousands lovers who he held under the midnight moon. They snuck out of rickety huts to run fingertips down his body under orchard boughs or on soft fallow earth. You are probably a descendent of his if you are from a city-state, as this kind of conduct would have had him murdered if he’d tried it among the tribes, but the toothless farmers could never catch him, adding to his allure among select female relatives. This object is a diadem of ancient gold whose apex weaves around pearls and rubies in a true lovers’ knot; legend has it that it was given to him in secret by the queen of the world’s first city-state before she destroyed his tribe in battle. By this time he had been fattened by the fruit-gifts of lovers and had lost his hunter’s prowess; nevertheless his memory lived on and was cherished.
300❂
12 Platinum charm of a burst heart.
5❂
13 The gifted fur of a sable ape; when in arctic, tundra and taiga regions, sable apes may leave food or snow shelters for the wearer of the fur. This is a highly prestigious item amongst those in the know, as the slightest stressor ruins the quality of a sable ape’s fur until the cryptohominid can calm itself in a freezing river.
500❂
14 Shards of designer crystal in the eyebrows.
10❂
15 The lays of ancient poets afraid of ethereal ineffectuality in the underworld; when read aloud and cast into a fire before armed companions, the reader will enter the company of select ancient heroes born of iresome and tempestuous ancient gods and their goddess-lovers who were planets, stars and quasars; only the destruction of armed men in battle can sooth the newborn hero’s resulting melancholy, though he will climb, fight and deceive as if purposed only for these things; with each death he feels himself closer to the promised nirvana, which is the only alternative to wraithhood in Tartarus, or so the old stories go. This is a form of blood magic; the killings committed by the hero do seem to embiggen and embolden his character, but this is simply the refinement of a portion of the slain ones’ memories and consciousness into phlogiston that is imbibed as a drug that transforms the mental state of the hero but does not determine his existential final destination (though may obliquely shape it, depending on the forces at play upon him).
250❂
16 Golden claws as legs.
450❂
17 A pearlescent mote within a red rose pinned to a man’s lapel. The mote is something wanting, waiting to be born. At some point it will dart into your body. Rains will come and raise mists, and silvery tendrils of spirit will emanate from your core. This is the budding mote exploring. It will guard its guardian; someday it may be brought forth; its shape and nature will partly reflect its gestation environment, namely the conduct and internal state of the player, but also it will address something necessary in this universe; otherwise its spark would never have come.
500❂
18 A paralyzed arsenic wasp containing a blend of adrenaline, amphetamine, antihistamine and antipsychotic; it would not be good for you to inject a swarm of these, but in a pinch it might be just what the doctor ordered.
10❂
19 A bottle that can think and transforms liquids into what it thinks you need. It was forged in the Bronze Age but has not yet updated its priors.
500❂
20 An amber locket; the amber lives and communes with the soil, a lighthouse over the earth in a place that is life but night to eyeless nature. When you die, if you are over soil you will crumble into it, preparing that place for a birth of something that you will of it; a lifegiving herb, fruit or sap oak; a structure, a shelter for something that cannot otherwise be held (at its will or against its will, depending); a sacred place, the home of a guardian spirit, a place of power. This will be negotiated and the GM will set the limits.
150❂
21 Gilded apple, intended for eating.
5❂
22 Can of chicory coffee that’s been modified with unknown crystals; these are the crystallized glint of an observation sun’s brief passage- its sui generis ions left residue on salt flats and obsidian crags. These crystals are of great interest to those wishing to research the strengthening of a beam of reflected light through the introduction of electrical power from a battery.
2250❂
23 Eyes replaced with sapphires; was previously blind.
15❂
24 This suppository of mitogenic oligomer changes the inputs mapping and feeding the physical state of the one who slides it into their skin and rather than the lowest-order components of their flesh and consciousness mapping onto a human schema they will instead be plugged into the base components of another force of animated consciousness, beings of the earliest times who surveillance this earth when it was still a storm of water and other churning elements, before distinct landforms when yet the lower surface of the sea could be walked upon. Beginning with the bones the one who wears this relic will begin to transform into motile gold, and will in time be able to carve slivers and shards off of their inner body to trade to unsuspecting women and men. Yet someday the gold will reach the person’s skin and show through the eyes, orbs of sparkling gold, and cuts will not bleed nor impacts bruise. Cut flesh will reveal only the glittering substance beneath, gunshots leaving permanent but otherwise harmless holes and cavities in the body of the transforming one. Then the skin will shift as well and the bearer will be as a living statue, yet with a voice as sonorous as such a figure in myth and with every inch of skin an eye, ear and tastebud. The thoughts of the transforming one will begin to shift as well, and instead of the nervous system informing thought, instead he will sense the state of all matter in the immediate vicinity, revealing its inner workings but also affecting the transforming one’s mood based on the platonic completeness of all matter around him, lending itself to strange obsessions, melancholy, and mania. If this were not enough to make him a pariah among his fellow men, they will often descend upon him with eyes to making riches of his corpse. Perhaps someday he will tire of this and make a donation of himself.
250❂
25 Beautiful white silk burial shroud, worn by one who is living.
5❂
26 A pair of smoke grenades modified by an entity for their owner. Their smoke dissipates blood. For this reason it is also profoundly unpleasant to enter, though you’ll have plenty of time to realize you’re losing blood unless you’re trapped.
20❂
27 A dark stone cask of turquoise body paint; when you coat yourself with it, you will be able to bud someone off of your body who will be your physical and potentially mental equal, and is initially an extension of your consciousness, but will, over two years, begin to develop a latent personality and a will of their own, yet retaining your abilities and memories, and the memories of the time when you were it. This doesn’t mean that they’ll believe they were the original; it cannot be predicted just what conclusion they will reach, or what they will want to do.
250❂
28 Necklace with five gilded skeletal hands in a radiant pattern.
30❂
29 To some entities, humans are like characters in a fiction, less real than they are yet somehow platonically refined, more extant in a story, more lionizable because of their struggles and victories in their simple domain, disposable yet admirable and even the source of interest in existence. This ingot of machairodus lahayishupup enamel serves as an attractor of attention for entities interested in such a thing; like it or not, the character will come to be viewed by a variety of entities who either wish to see their struggles or have some other reason for tuning into the life of a random (but perhaps somewhat select) human beings. The effects of this are difficult to predict; some entities may want to advise or help the character; others to throw challenges at them and perhaps even toy with them sadistically; some may be scouting for talent or other qualities.
100❂
30 Tiny porcelain swan hanging from one’s ear on a gold chain.
5❂
31 Strange crystalline dart that runs electroacid lines capable of transmitting work throughout whatever it’s stuck into, then runs a theoretical model of the object under various fracture states to determine viable partial joints if any; it breaks the object along these joints if possible, otherwise it jolts work towards surface extremities to move the object by throwing it one way and the another (e.g. The lower extremities of a dresser balanced by work thrown into its upper corners in the midst of its ambulations, thus animating it). This sends out an exocosmic beacon call for inhabitation; the object may be possessed by an entity interested in briefly controlling it (or for longer), though the objectives of the entity cannot be ascertained ahead of time. One way or another the sudden animation of the object is likely to scare the pants off anybody who isn’t expecting it.
25❂
31 Dagger with a magnificent flickering wisp of a blade. Elegant and interesting but will require a custom sheath; this guy just has it in his belt.
6❂
32 A tiny squat little idol that looks cut from an unknown stone but is in fact a real calcified body. It was once a god of manifold domains whose portfolio encompassed natural functions of the earth as well as heroes, civilizations and beasts. Over time the significance of this god shrank, as did his epic and chimeric form, until all that was left was fit for a domovoi and then for a child’s plaything. When clasped close to the chest, this idol imparts wordless but emotionally-charged memories of its once majestic scope, levying intuitions into the wearer across many domains. He or she will intuit knowledge and acquire desires pertaining to many ancient feuds and civilizations which are no longer known except for whichever of their trappings are left on the present time, or for the undercover antediluvian torch-carriers who seek rebirth of what once was but can never be again without radical existential reformation or bloodshed on the vastest scale.
10❂
33 Bull prepuce containing the powdered dry shit of an antediluvian roc, a cryptostygian imperial dodo, and an electrical phoenix all mixed together; gradually turns you into an azure avian bioform, though you will retain your humanoid chassis.
5000❂
34 Mask of wax, and beneath it, gold leaf.
5❂
35 A gilded durian whose gas is debilitating when the fruit is opened; the flesh, however, tastes like delicious green onion ice cream. If heated, the fruit will explode with the full gas effect plus deadly golden spikes hurled in a sphere.
10❂
36 The skull of a philosopher who was sacrificed by the insertion of star sapphires into his eyes and subsequent exposure to the elements. It has a seam around its crown where the cap can be removed, and inside is rich white fat. When burned, the smoke of this fat will remove the ability to speak or think in words, permanently, from all who breathe it. It was used as a means of control by the terrible exocosmic potentate of a before-times open-sky empire, but his mentally aphasic servants were subsequently defeated by neighboring civilizations, incapable of the necessary coordinations; most such skulls have unknowingly been used as candles but this one has survived, hidden among a preserved pyramid of skulls erected in a tumulus by conquering nomads who found it in a deserted temple and added it to their own handiwork.
15❂
37 A tiny bouquet of myrtle in the coat over the heart, slowly turning to gold. This will cease when removed from its place or if the host heart is stopped.
25❂
38 A phial of fecund blood capable of bearing divine brutality into the marrow of its injector. It forces great might, vigor, shapeliness, and health upon the injector, yet he must roll to resist the thrumming call to bloodshed when met with disrespect, inconsiderateness, or viciousness of character in a weakling. Failure can result in anything from a titanic blow to subduing the offender and breaking their fingers to literally pulling their head off in the most uncontrollable state of rage. This world is many decades from haloperidol; there is no mitigating against the requirement to roll against this cosmic rage, except that the injector’s close friends companions are exempt from triggering the rage as it seems to map partly onto ingroup/outgroup perceptions; the offense of someone unfamiliar increases exponentially to someone with this blood, as the true nature of their intentions and the implications of their actions cannot be fully ascertained.
50❂
39 Wad of coagulated blueschist. Worth something to geologists, worth fortunes to Occultists researching teleportation.
4000❂
40 Tiny black velvet bag containing the golden seeds of a plant that can produce fruit capable of serving as human organs, always beginning with a heart. External and semi-external organs such as eyes are also possible, though more common will be things like pancreases and appendices.
750❂
41 Liquor that will induce a blackout; assuming the imbiber is not watched constantly, they will awaken somewhere portentous.
400❂
42 A ring that promises to serve as a locus, conductor or fount of existential/exocosmic power to those with a small knowledge of the occult; in fact this ring is a reminder from an ancient sage to not give oneself over to external promises of easy paths to power. If the wearer serves as a willful transmitter of most forms of occult energy or perceptual inundation, it will reshape them into a form begetting a certain other cosmos and shift them there in the blink of the eye; essentially they will form an imperceptible portion of the bedrock of something, akin to becoming a rock in the center of the earth for us but in a structure far less subject to change and dissipation. They will remain there until that structure fundamentally changes or dissipates. The players should be certain they wish to do this before they subject someone to this fate; certain entities regard this action as so cruel as to deserve retribution, and others will wish to destroy anyone who uses such a thing because it could serve as an effective deterrence to people submitting themselves as Occult cat’s paws.
100❂
43 Rainforest root whose shavings duplicates the effects of methamphetamine, with all of the dependency but less of the degradation. An overdose will, however, melt your arms and legs.
5❂
44 Hollow statuette from antediluvian precursor; grows to encase you and gradually adds organs with biological functions not normally native to human beings. Work with the GM- for each session this character spends inside the statue, they gain specialized biological functions (e.g. a bloodhound’s scent, a jumping spider’s internal biology, amphibian’s respiratory system, flying squirrel’s membrane, etc).
5000❂
45 Surgically adapted penile bomb for a planned murder-suicide.
2❂
46 A seed that, when swallowed, becomes a tree whose limbs are your limbs, whose fruit lights your eyes from behind, whose sap is a conduit for the smallest things to impart their particularities into your inner bark (hemolymph, biological immortality, and symbiotic life nesting in your hollows).
1500❂
47 Winged pearl contained in a tiny golden bird’s cage. If released, the pearl is likely to fly away, reducing the huge museological value of the combined artifact.
2500❂
48 A black javelin that crackles with lightning; its head is that of a snake, and subtle scales cover its body. When hurled, there is an explosive thunderclap and with an earsplitting grinding of stone the javelin expands in fits and starts until it has become a jet black airborne serpent with arms, 40’ long and 6’ wide. Every movement of the serpent is accompanied by a deafening stone grinding. Freed from its bondage, it will mantically ascertain a course of action benefitting the players and carry it out, generally dispatching any foes present before picking up the players and any relevant NPCs and artifacts and then carrying them where they need to go. After this, there is a 50% chance it slithers into the sky and a 50% chance it claws its way down into the earth.
5000❂
49 Hundreds of gold threads woven throughout the hair.
3❂
50 Poultice made from the remnants of a prince killed in a surströmming explosion. When brought into the water, it will secrete a warming gel across the flesh of a person who it is applied to, and its gasses mixing with water will create large, slow, breathable air bubbles. The smell of the air and the wearer will, however, give the one smelling it a feeling like he or she is witnessing the apocalypse.
5❂
51 Jade fangs and emerald shards woven all throughout skin like scales.
10❂
52 The shrunken head of a man preserved in moldy flour; this is small enough to fit inside the coat, beneath the arm like a hanging weapon. The eyes, as clear and opaque as smoked glass, fetter the bearer’s vision when the hair is taken tightly in the fist. This makes the hand bleed; the hair enters the flesh.
15❂
53 Amber bolo tie containing golden wasps; when swung like a bola and shattered, the wasps irately attack everyone nearby, inducing anaphylactic shock.
8❂
54 Can of soup from an unknown company. This is not a real company. It is apparently a peppery chicken soup, but when drank, the consumer’s body bursts into a raging firestorm and restores itself to a platonic state; the individual will be healthy, symmetrical, muscular and hairless, though this will quickly fade if his or her lifestyle does not support these qualities. It does not reduce the age of the consumer, though it can heal maladies associated with aging.
5000❂
55 A blackbird that immolates when forces intent on murder close in around the one who feeds it. After 1d4 immolations it enters a long hibernation as a lump of coal.
500❂
56 A sextant from the city-state of Brinemarrow; it permits secret communion with the voices of select constellations representing heroes and spirits. These constellations will speak as the one they represent, but it will not be easy to determine whether one is speaking to an entity attempting to play out a legitimate masquerade as the personage in question, or whether the constellation is being used to observe you and rebroadcast tailored messaging from a xenocosmic influence cell.
25❂
57 A lighter whose walls are brass doors in miniature. It makes spiderweb behave something like thermite when ignited.
25❂
58 Bottle of chartreuse containing a sapient virus; when imbibed, it will begin to synthesize flakes of gold in your bloodstream, which you can gradually drain and distill into wealth. However, it also requires that you drink warm blood on a regular basis, and it is willing to cause fever if you do not. It is willing to infect other people with a very dangerous, non-gold-producing and nonsapient version of itself if met with true defiance.
15❂
59 An engraved root; place it against a shattered vein and it will enter both ends and serve the purpose of saving your life. Alas it will feed on the blood, and grow throughout the years until it runs through your vascular system, greatly stiffening you while imparting true cardiovascular resilience.
35❂
60 A string of pearls that are the tears of a great arctic sea moth. One who travels among the northern winds may carry the scent of lunar salts back to their weeper, who may alight on the deck to consider the bearer of the calcified things that its eyes have seen.
40❂
61 Hauberk made of diamond somehow fastened into tiny interlinked loops. Has an unbelievable glimmer. Has great value for research and museological purposes, though how much it would be worth to buyers of couture next to an equivalent weight of cut diamonds embedded into a designer shirt is uncertain.
250❂
62 A liquid rubber that can be solidified and molded into a desired form, as it becomes motile under sunlight before hardening forever into a polymer. Can be pushed into a mold after it begins hardening, allowing you to duplicate the dimensions of an existing object.
25❂
63 A tiny canvas upon which a scene can be painted. The paint can then be washed from the canvas and drank. The drinker will experience effect related to the thing that was illustrated, particularly if it was a real thing. This works d4 times before the canvas is too muddled to cleanly engender new forms; drinking the paint after this will carry great risk of existential contamination.
40❂
64 Ramrod for muskets. Shorn if its original purpose, it has adapted and you can use it to quickly stuff items that could fit down your throat into your stomach without trouble. You will need to acquire its counterpart, a dowsing rod, or the removal of these objects will mean hell on earth (or debilitating surgery).
25❂
65 Salamander that, when attached to a wall and ignited, will burn through it before the flame is consumed. A long period of secretion is necessary for second burn.
30❂
66 Prosthetic dummy arm, white, shiny and smooth as porcelain. Has no apparent mechanisms. An observer must conclude that the mechanisms are hidden beneath a supple polymer, but touching it will find it as hard as steel. In fact, the arm is capable of crushing rock, and cannot be pulled loose from the body without killing the wearer, as it extends cords throughout the wearers body, snaking round organs, reaching down into the feet and up around the eyes. There is feeling in the arm, but no pain. For an adventurer it is worth removing an arm, except how suspicious it is- the arm is a mechanical impossibility in this time.
125❂
67 A precipitate of metabolic cement that gradually replaces your bones with a stiff but flexible polymer. Your bones become night unbreakable, but lifting very heavy weights becomes untenable and you are still subject to e.g. brain damage from impacts.
50❂
68 A 1’ silvery chain with a clasp inscribed with a word in a dead and ancient tongue. When the chain is fastened around something and the word is spoken, the chain will instantly shrink to a size not perceptible to science. This will have the effect of cutting any matter whatsoever that is encircled by the chain when it shrinks. Naturally the chain will never be seen again; though it may still be present in some sense, most likely it will pass through other matter at some subatomic level and move along on forces we cannot define.
50❂
69 Grandfather clock taken from a bum cache; when it tolls, including accidentally, a wraith will horrifically mutilate everyone around the clock. Whether you want to hold onto this long enough to place it into a fortress of evil or even get it out of civilization is an open question.
75❂
70 The solid core of an ice asteroid that was highly charged with electricity; can be used as an emergency power source if kept in a cooler, though if you chip or melt it with your hands you will be killed by a massive electrical discharge. It is not technically a battery and is used to store information, though the means of ascertaining that information is beyond current science (but could be derived by certain entities).
40❂
71 Gold coin inserted into forehead for use on judgment day; bearer has sense of equanimity about it.
❂
72 A vial containing a thousand diseases in as many chambers; each will kill so fast that it could never spread in a way that would destroy a city-state, but be cautious, as many purchasers of this fell relic would use it to kickstart the bioweapons program of whatever cause they believe in.
40❂
73 Hatchet that petrifies flesh with blows that you strike, with the net effect of turning people who you hack up into firewood splash by splash.
10❂
74 A silver cord that guides by constellations at night when fastened about the temples. Care must be taken to not give offense to the figures in the constellations relevant to the journey, or the cord will begin to tighten in a debilitating way.
15❂
75 Baggie of uberstrychnine. Imparts ultra prowess for a few minutes before your muscles crush you to death.
3❂
76 A tincture distilled from the waterborne herbal flakes of an arboreal nightmare, green boughs hanging halfway into the water, washing their leaves about. The user can see sliplines- cracks in things that lead to other places but that only he can traverse.
175❂
77 Finely-tuned speedball of jenkem and krokodil.
2❂
78 A diamond-encrusted broach representing the trial of a ship’s captain by a merchant-mayor. It is an heirloom spirited out of a country by the family that comprised the ruling junta; they will want it back, and for all the power they’ve lost, none of their brutality has gone with it. Contains a disc of unknown metal. Guarantees that you will attract lightning in any kind of storm, or if electricity is arcing for some reason. Turns your blood into calcium if carried too long, though it remains functional and somehow prevents electrical burns.
250❂
79 Tiny engine of alloyed gold hanging from chain around neck. Could theoretically function as an engine powering a really small machine.
12.5❂
80 Tiny turtle whose shell is filled with explosives which can be detonated by lighting a one-minute fuse inside the shell.
10❂
81 A quilt that, when worn or laid under, rapidly heals, even to the point of creating cancer from cell growth and hypertension from excess blood; care must be taken to remove the one being healed at just the right time.
125❂
82 Key to a private bank vault. May take some detective work to track down which vault it belongs to if the most recent carrier stole it.
25❂
83 A mini piglet resting inside the collar or in a blazer’s inner pocket. It’s alive, yet it contains d4 gold coins, which the players will not discover unless they pick it up. If this is an actual piglet, the owner will have villainously sewn in the coins as a porcine kitty; if the pig is some kind of familiar, the coins will be dispensable from its mouth without blocking its throat
2❂ (sewn) / 15❂ (familiar)
84 Tiny ivory icon with a tortured man on a pole; this does not represent a redeemer, but a recalcitrant baron.
3❂
85 Tiny fiddle made by a master; scrollwork spills off the frets like ripples on ripples.
14❂
86 Beautiful cherrywood cigar cutter for fingers. Marked with burn etching: let mistakes be indelible that they tutor you.
3❂
87 Bracelet that was once used to chain people to searocks for sacrifice to an abyssal creature; one day the girl to be sacrificed filled her veins with poison and killed the creature when it devoured her. An entity blessed the bracelet, and one who wears it will be immune to the effects of physical contamination or supernatural transformation as long as that entity exists.
30❂
89 A Monadist holy symbol made by a ferociously tyrannical man whose offspring were all radial-limbed energy-based life forms of pure evil; he put his mostly ill-gotten fortune into this chest-size bejeweled iconostasis and retired to a monastery.
2500❂
90 Rosette that guarantees a postexistence; if the wearer is killed, his consciousness will be uploaded into a rosette and a distress pulse of a type calibrated to less-malevolent entities will be sent out across cosmoses. Whether or not an entity will present themselves to the character, and whether or not that entity’s nature will make for a desirable visitation, cannot be certain.
250❂
91 Brooch that transforms the dying wearer into a kind of tutelary deity for the local area; while the spirit of the character will not be able to leave the site upon which they died, they will have immediate, broad control over the local area; other entities will expect the character to act as the place’s guardian and refurbisher, though what they do is up to them. After a few days they will gain the ability to physically manifest in a form recognizable in myth; they will still be unable to leave the site.
250❂
92 Arrowhead that once contained a blood-burning poison; it was shot into the heart of a hero and pumped throughout his corpus, and his soul was trapped in the arrowhead. Rather than pure suicide, one who wishes to die or take a back seat in their own body may stab this into their heart; this will give birth to the hero once again in their own form, with their attendant skills and personality. The hero will, however, have to learn the modern profession of arms; it is not a coincidence that it was an arrowhead which pierced his heart.
30❂
93 A golden bit that nourishes a horse in health and hydration.
75❂
94 A melon-sized geode that serves as a womb of diamonds; carbon inserted into the center will gradually be forced into this form. Other objects will be crushed into near-nonexistence.
400❂
95 Petrified miasma of the corpses of select heroes which languish forever in a liminal layer between our cosmos and others in certain tunnels which become matter transformers capable of shunting a human consciousness into alternative states; when not transmitted abroad, bodies and spirits become energetic forms that are suitable to underlie our existence despite being radically altered. The corpses and the distilled psychological essence are accompanied and channeled by the spirits of some of those who were not heroes, singing in an eternal choir of lamentation or exaltation, gusting the miasma back out of the tunnel, where it can be collected and condensed into a kind of soft but solidified purple cloud. When eaten, the gummy fluff radically pushes back the eater’s accumulation of norepinephrine, thereby allowing the continuation of effort, focus, and psychological energy even in tasks that do not evoke interest or other impulse in the consumer.
30❂
96 Cloth of gold scarf that transforms a river into milk and honey. It will still be water wherever it does not touch the scarf.
75❂
97 Drop of petrified megaviper venom that serves as a sui generis gemstone.
20❂
98 Telluric incense from the innermost veins, partakes of the spores of the deepmoss, the shaven shear-dust of the world machine, the fumes of the outer highway and the morning mist of the Green Realm. When burned, roll a d4; it will channel the aforementioned things (the things, not their runoff) in 1-4 order in the local environment.
30❂
99 Bowl to cleanse the ritual impurity of homicide. In the myths of Cape Cittacotte, heroes are often aberrant and abhorrent. The knight, detective, and protecting parent shade flickeringly into the antihero and murderhobo when pleading and preparation fail. Any argument that they partake solely of the Apollonian is drowned out by the screams of agony and terror. This is the butcher’s bowl; he should be sent away, except that other meal turns the body into dust.
To the knight, detective, or parent who kills, the pacifist is not emulated, though is perhaps protected or sacralized in martyrdom, a superordinate reductio ad absurdum, the babe who can do nothing for others in the moment of truth except contain the lodestone spark of orientation. His words are divine nonsense. He is the star who will not scare the wolves away but may guide you through a wilderness that would make you an animal.
3❂
100 A beautiful wooden staff that, when unscrewed, reveals that it contains one long soppressata. When a second screw is twisted in the bottom, the sausage is extended from of the open top.
❂
Table A Notes:
Prices for this table assume the right buyer.
Most very rich industrialist/financier NPCs will be more interested in buying top-of-the-line, limited-release luxury goods or famous pieces of art from authorized dealers rather than artifacts of possible occult provenance.
I’m not saying these prices reflect absolute worth; I’m saying that diegetically this is what an NPC buyer will offer to pay you, absent an alternate GM call. The players could get more money through dedicated scouting, but potentially less if they wanted to quickly close the deal in the nearest city-state.
Treasure Table B: Couture
You open the ornate armoire. What do you find?
Roll d4 and d10. Use the d4 to indicate the table and the d10 for the entry.
1
1 Designer leather bomber jacket - 2-10❂
2 Designer heels: 2.5❂ - ∞
3 Designer wool wrap: 1.5❂
4 Designer woven leather boots for women (woven like a straw basket): 2❂
5 Designer sequin dress: 6.5❂
6 Designer jeans with shitty felt leaves and flowers sewn all over them, look like ass and the color’s too bright: 2❂
7 Designer child’s dress: ❂
8 Diamond encrusted pacifier, 250❂; built in alarm system I guess
9 Jewelry: Individual pieces are commonly 1❂-50❂. Truly famed pieces are 15000❂ - 75000❂
(One line of jewelry is extremely limited because the designer went to a bandit tribe and joined them on a spiritquest, retrieving artifacts from the netherworld and utilizing them in jewelry; the second time they did it they were all fused into a single nonfunctional body)
10 Ridiculous suit - qiviuk, vicuna, and pashmina. 6❂
2
1 Designer scarves: ❂
2 Hats- even at auction they rarely command more than 25❂
3 Face mask - 3000 diamonds, white gold structure - 125❂
4 Yellow gold bikini 12.5❂
5 Designer one-piece women’s swim suit 32❂, 500❂-2500❂ if you encrust it with a shitload of diamonds
6 Diamond encrusted smoked lenses: 12.5❂
7 Smoked lenses from a luxury carmaker, no diamonds: 25❂
8 Designer sunglasses, no diamonds: 200❂
9 Gold shirt, 7lbs, can’t be washed, 125❂
10 Dental grill: 10❂ (obsidian laid over teeth, alabaster, or yeah just diamonds)
3
1 Gold chain: 50❂
2 Designer watch: 50❂ (up to 300❂ with many complications)
3 Arctic sable: 250❂ for full coat (just one to wear on the shoulders is 75❂)
4 Ornate masks - popular in the world’s underworld. ~10❂. Mask materials:
-Porcelain facade
-Fresh rosewood
-Jet cut in argyle pattern
-Ebony and ivory cheque
-Harlequin: gems
5 Haute couture dress: 100❂, for royal weddings up to 150❂-200❂
1 Gold phalera to be worn over garb, generally up to 9 at once: 10❂ per
2 Golden fleece reserved for members of a particular fraternal order (good battle treasure): 75❂
3 Black gothic full plate, blued, silvered and elaborately gilded, basically ceremonial: 100❂
4 Gold musculata: 50❂
5 Golden mustache/beard: 7.5❂
6 Really tall top hat with gold cummerbund, white gloves, gold-headed cane: 5❂
Items from tomb cities (e.g. Vatrium, Thanofane)
7 Hair ring - hair of dead virginal maiden (true?)- ❂
8 Bone amulet - bone of saint (true?) - ❂
9 Shrunken head/hand of hero (true?) - 2❂-10❂ if sold to right buyer
10 Mantle meant to be worn by death priest (true) 7.5❂
Treasure Table C: Lifestyle Items
d20
1 Gold-hilted saber in ivory scabbard: 35❂
2 Designer bags - commonly 2.5❂-5❂, up to 50❂ off the rack. Crocodile skin, lambskin etc. Special editions ~1000❂ w/ rose gold and thousands of diamonds, 1d4 produced
3 Designer fishing kit 10❂
4 Designer surfboard 4❂ (HAS THE DESIGNER’S MONOGRAM ON IT WOOOOOOW)
5 Designer handbag built into a hula hoop 1.5❂
6 Designer bag made out of fucking tweed, looks like something that came out of your bellybutton - 3.5❂
Trashy horseshit
7 Designer bicycle, leather casing for the assembly of gears and chain - 10❂
16 Imperial Potentate shampoo, .5❂, per the real life equivalent, “rosemary, grape seed, nettle, sage, burdock, and chamomile, are an homage to Russia”
17 Diamond encrusted business cards: ❂ per
18 Pen with lots of diamonds, 750❂
19 Designer parasol: 2.5❂
20 Ornate staff honoring the Fates with a silver weathervane at the top: 3.5❂
Treasure Table D: Household Goods
d20
1 Bathtubs - often shaped like shit. Pure turquoise or a single piece of rock crystal - 100❂-400❂, 500❂ for gold, rare gemstone or ancient petrified wood 1000❂
2 Houseplants - Philodendron .5❂-❂-2❂, Monstera Adansonii Variegata is up to 20❂ and comes with a bunch of holes in the leaves
3 Chandelier with thousands of porcelain butterflies hanging from it: 50❂
4 Diamond-studded chess set, 250❂
5 Gold bassinet: 6500❂
6 Designer crib: 30❂
7 Grand piano: 30❂
8 Sumptuous carpets, custom-made, embroidered in the patterns of their land but bent to your symbology: 15❂-25❂
9 Gold toilet paper, comes around the neck of a bottle of champagne, gets gold flakes all over the floor, 700❂
10 Gold footstool, 110lbs, 750❂
11 Home radiotelegraphy station: 50❂
12 Home theater: 40❂
13 Home recording studio 35❂
14 Fine wooden medicine chest- containing lots of medicines. 5❂
15 Furniture in general - purpleheart wood, incised, rosewood (beware this is a big blood/conflict item), yaya, wenge, hand-oiling, layer paintings, single piece claro walnut, abanos, carpathian, Rococo design. 2.5❂-25❂
16 Luxury table: 25❂-100❂ (latter generally features lots of wood types)
17 Ornate ouija board, sometimes distributed at Reist funerals 5❂
18 Designer armchair 18❂
19 Home aquarium: .5❂-7.5❂
20 Little actual two-story house for your dog: 4❂
Treasure Table E: Consumables
d20 and then any other kind of die as well; on the second die, even result = first table and odd = second
Even Table
1 Truffles - black truffles from Heroon coastal oak .5❂ per lb, pig hunted mountain truffles 2.5❂/lb. Giant truffles auction for about 50❂ a lb
2 Coffee - most expensive normal coffee is ~.5❂/lb. Marsupial shit pouch-gestated stuff is more, like a full ❂.
3 Grapes and strawberries from exclusive grower - the orchard will fly them to you. They don’t produce SHIT ELSE. Every single one gets inspected with a magnifying glass. The strawberries are white with red seeds and do not ever touch the soil, and the grapes are red as tomatoes and really large. ❂ per order of fruit, ❂ per delivery.
4 Mango: NOT flown to you, costs a ❂, no fibrousness, extreme sugar content, soft, can eat the skin, comes with a really ergonomic and shapely little spoon.
5 Watermelon: 3❂ per, dark green, almost black, few seeds, brutally difficult to cultivate, high suicide rate among specialized farmers
6 Melon: 5❂-16❂ per, grown on like the plateau of Leng, slightly spicy, volcanic soil, massaged daily and given hats, looks like ancient cantaloupe flesh inside
7 Champagne - 50❂
8 Champagne red glove service 75❂ - call girl delivers it and then blows you. Clients must pass medical screening
9 You can buy 1000❂ champagne containing liquid gold in a diamond studded bottle you stupid motherfucker
10 A knucklehead bakes gold power into bread but it’s not really that expensive, we’ll say .25❂ for this
11 Sundae with vanilla ice cream from prestigious plantation, scoops covered in edible gold leaf, gilded almonds, truffles, side of caviar - Archzenith delicacy, costs a ❂
13 17.5❂ pudding, champagne jelly and champagne caviar, served in a Fabergé egg
Any dessert can go up to 5000❂ just by including inedible diamonds
14 Tea: ❂ per lb can be used many times without losing flavor, 12.5❂ for tea leaves painted in 25-carat gold and cut with golden scissors, 17.5❂/lb for tea fertilized with panda shit because they only absorb 30% of nutrients, tea from a few irreplaceable ancient trees harvested only very rarely 30❂
15 Beef from the cakevirgin cow; like 75% fat, .25❂ for a 2-lb steak
16 Mandrake mushrooms: sweet, spicy, NOT psychedelic. .5❂ for 2lbs
17 Truckle of Tourmaline moose cheese made in the tundra of its northernmost highlands. .5❂ a truckle, will get drastically more valuable if the Anarcho-Syndicalists take the Gorge.
18 Rare Bear Stew - made from the cubs of extremely rare bears, dried meat (chopped up live and then dropped live into boiling water) and fixings for this soup are .75❂/lb. Sold only in outpost and heartland Vice Fortresses; believed to ameliorate impotence. Many, many laborers, free, indentured and enslaved, are killed by bears or die falling through rocky crags attempting to find the bears’ spittle-fused bowers, though this is just a footnote because it doesn’t affect the price; those devoured by bears are, however, believed in some circles to add to the deliciousness and power of the stew.
17 Financier-brand cigarettes, wine-black exterior, each comes with a brass mouthpiece: ❂ a pack
18 Luxury cigars: .25❂-25❂. Comes with your name on it, filter infused with pearls, bunch of diamonds and gold leaf, delivered by a butler, aged 15 years
19 Cigar from ancient, extinct civilization; looks like a little rolled up piece of jerky: 250❂
20 Century egg that’s actually a century old: 25❂
Treasure Table F: Land Vehicles
Roll a d8 if you’re dealing with something for the road, and d12 to include all options; or d4 for something other than a personal motor vehicle.
Part 1 (d8)
1-5 Baseline luxury car (100❂-200❂); includes icy-looking metallic things running on the pure prestige of their name, nouveau riche candy-colored cars with wood wheels and leather interiors, and everything in between
6 Limited runs (1-3 dozen): 1250❂-2500❂, fewer up to 5000❂ (generally 1 car made per mil). Diamonds in the headlights and shit, foldout dining suite
7 Utterly decadent, intended to be sold to people with unlimited wealth like entrepôt owners: 7500❂-15000❂
8 Motorbikes - 100❂ - 1750❂, potentially more at auction
Part 2 (d12 or d4 counting forward)
9 Heavy hauler: essentially a giant tractor with a platform, can e.g. move ship components. 125❂
10 Diesel locomotive: 250❂-1000❂
11 Train cars: 50❂-100❂
Dining car, cattle car, coal bin, freight, passenger, sleeper, armored artillery monitor (gonna have to work the price on this one with the GM based on locality). Personal luxury: Bedrooms, chefs, stained glass domes, interiors as luxurious as any palace or private noviplane; add d12 x 500❂
12 Designer tricycle for children: 60❂
Treasure Table G: Sea Vehicles
d6
1 Megayacht, chartered from Megakratheon: costs from 100❂ to 500❂ per week. Employs novel use of suspendium in beams; still can’t do this with warships, they’re just too heavy.
Many megayachts have bays for seaplanes and yacht tenders, the biggest have landing strips sufficient for a biplane. Swimming pools, hot tubs, multiple bars
Cutting edge megayacht project: 300000❂
Current most expensive megayacht project: 250000❂, full complement of 70 personnel w/ 24 guest cabins (annual operating cost 1500❂-2500❂ including full complement wages)
The Yacht Squadron are the maintainers of Canalite megayachts in Twin Canals; they are military personnel who crew the Empire’s yachts and defend them in case of attack, which should be the primary concern for most megayacht owners in this world. They safeguard yachts under construction for foreigners until launch day, given the value of this to the economy of the Empire.
2 Cargo ship (d4)
{1} Ferry: Small 250❂-500❂, industrial 5000❂-10000❂
{2} Small freighter 5000❂
{3} Pretty large freighter: 12500❂
{4} Vast ship 25000❂-75000❂ max
Add 5000❂ for refrigeration and 2500❂ for roll on/off capacity (otherwise loaded by crane and even by hand; ships are generally not highly containerized in this era)
3 Seaplane tender: 12500❂, carries 8 seaplanes. Add a rack of diving suits w/ oxygen mechanism at 10❂ per suit and you’ve got the makings of a sea base here
4 Hospital ship: 75000❂ converted freighter. Floating 1000 bed hospital. Mandatory crew of 100, room for up to 1000 more medical personnel
5 Luxury passenger liner: 100000❂ (model: Olympic-class ocean liner). Think grand staircase with caryatids, smoking rooms, gyms, restaurants, cargo cranes, gardens, libraries, tennis courts, restaurants, Turkish baths, pool, Includes a pair of vast “millionaire’s suites” with 50m-long private decks. Baroque or Neoclassical decor
6 Big luxury sailboat: 25000❂ - includes mahogany library with fireplace. Add 25000❂ for movie theater and jacuzzi. Add 25000❂ for gym and submarine.
Treasure Table H: Air Vehicles
d12
Planes
1 Cargo noviplane: 2500❂
2 Butlered luxury noviplane: 2500❂-37500❂. Crew is 110❂ a year. Can pretty much make up whatever you want to have aboard as long as the plane will take off.
3 Common civilian biplane/seaplane: 40❂-100❂ (there are also parasol monoplanes).
4 Box-kite biplanes are often bedecked in glorious livery or art but are not really used for industrial transport 35❂-105❂
5 Scout biplane/seaplane: really a seat on wings, 25❂
Airships
6 Basic rigid airship: 5000❂, can mount two biplanes
7 Armed with some under-armor: 12500❂, low service ceiling, you’ll need to source bombs and launch from a place that’s cool with you having machine guns
8 Biplane carrier: 25000❂, as above but can carry racks of biplanes
9 Luxury airship: 25000❂ with +5000❂ or +10000❂ for additional cabins
10 Hot air balloon: 12.5❂
11 Personal Gliders (d6)
1 Normal soaring apparatus: A hang glider that you’re kind of integrated with like a pair of wings. Almost as dangerous as the personal ornithopter: 15❂
2 Storm wing apparatus: smaller wings but better in weather: 15❂
3 Experimental monoplane apparatus Notionally a monoplane but really an array of individual curved planes that resemble a monoplane and function under similar principles. Extremely sexy, extremely dangerous, though less likely to dive than the others. 20❂
4 Two-story: biplane array, can mount a small seat though good luck bailing out. 25❂
5 Large Biplane Apparatus: Huge and sexy. 30❂
6 Ornithopter: Just gorgeous with structurally-integral wingtip feather arrays and a trailing tail, but this thing will kill you if you let it seduce you. You hold onto it like a hang glider, it basically is a hang glider, wear a parachute if you’re at all high enough because if it goes into a nosedive you’re fucked. Basically if you roll a 1 you die no matter what your skill is. 50❂
12 Rotor kite: Can be towed for fun or oversight, generally not powerable on one’s own. 25❂
Luxury flight: 40❂
Treasure Table I: Pets
There’s a
d100
1-4 Dog
5-8 Cat
9-11 Horse
12-100 (Extended Menu)
Dogs
Top pet dogs are almost always 5❂-7.5❂, certain extremely rare breeds go up to 25❂, will pay a premium for a notable individual, people have paid over 750❂ for famed show winners.
Top breeds (d6):
1 Arctic Reaver
2 Love Rocket
3 Dwarf Gnome
4 Quasibear
5 Royal Mystic
6 Pufferhound
Working Dogs
d6
1 Belgian Malinois: 1.5❂. Can attack enemies but also be picked up by the handler
2 Doberman Pinscher: ❂
3 Bull Terrier: .75❂
4 German Shepherd (scout dog): ❂
5 Yorkshire Terrier (combat courier): .5❂ for run of the mill, 2.5❂-5❂ for pedigree dogs
6 Bloodhound - the ultimate trackers, but don’t expect them to confront the prey. 5.❂-2.5❂
For training, add 15❂-30❂:
Detection Dog: Narcotics, explosives, firearms
Guard Dog: Great for detecting people creeping up on your position
Guide Dog: A blinded PC may find this useful in their transition to NPC
Attack dog: Basically a static turret or a dog for bounty hunters that you release when a guy sprints into the woods or tresspasses or something
Scout dog- intermediate to docile detection dog and aggressive attack dog. Taught to distinguish human from animal scent
Tracking dog: long range man-finder, bloodhound best for this
Herding Dog
Team Dogs (haul light artillery and civilian milk carts)
S&R Dog
Sled Dog
Military-Messenger Dog
Cats
Up to 62.5❂, some 12.5❂-25❂, most 1.5❂-2.5❂.
Top breeds (d6):
1 Gigantic Pinecoon
2 Elfin Piglet
3 Archzenith Assassin (1 litter per year, 62.5❂ per cat)
4 Naked Molecat
5 Kadwan Cretin (flat-faced, tongue out)
6 Boondock Prizefighter (aristocratic or underworld bloodsports)
Horse
d6
1-2 Hobilar dragoon horse: 30❂
3-4 Thoroughbred stallion: 40❂
5-6 Vineforest polo horse: 100❂
Extended Menu
12 Candy Basslet: .5❂
13 Clarion Angelfish: 1.5❂
14 Wrought Iron Butterflyfish: 1.5❂
15 Australian flathead perch: 2.5❂ but it looks like a sock
16 Neptune Grouper: 3❂
17 Golden Basslet: 4❂, has to be collected by submarine
18 Bladefin Basslet: 5❂
19 Peppermint angelfish: 15❂
20 Freshwater polka dot stingray with genetic mutation rounding its head, must be hand-fed: 50❂
21 Platinum arowana: 200❂; basically albino. Lives 50+ years
22 Snow macaque: 1.5❂
23 Capuchin monkey: 4.5❂
24 Camel: 5❂
25 Hyacinth macaw: 5.5❂ - biggest flying parrot in the world
26 Palm cockatoo: 8❂
27 Savannah cat: crossbreed of domestic cat and African serval, 11❂, kind of looks like it’s disappointed in you. Litters are rare as servals and domestic cats generally do not wanna smash. Really popular
28 Chimp: 30❂
29 Arctic fox: .5❂
30 Crocodile: .5❂
31 Micro Piglet: ❂
32 Fennec Fox: 1.5❂, looks like it has beef with you
33 Kangaroo: 1.5❂
34 Kinkajou: 1.5❂, less if it’s really vicious
35 Two-toed sloth: 2❂
36 Ringtail Lemur: 2❂
37 Zebra: 2❂. Super aggressive
38 Cotton Top Tamarin: 2❂
39 Wallaby: 2.5❂. May come with kids. Less capable of triangle choking you to death than a kangaroo
40 Finger Monkey: 2.5❂
41 Owl Monkey: 3❂. Nocturnal
42 Bongo Antelope: 4.5❂. Expensive because they’re sourced IVO Feyglade and the nomads will tie you ass-first to a red ant hill
43 Toucan: 5❂. Super needy
44 Ocelot: 7.5❂. This thing will bite your scrote off
45 Alpaca: COMMENCE THE ALPACALYPSE
46 Koala: 50❂, can eat nothing but eucalyptus. Their habitats are basically held hostage by price gougers
47 Hippo: 55❂, eat 100lbs of food a day
48 Polar Bear: 200❂, weigh up to 1200lbs and stand 10’ tall
49 Elephant, 750❂
50 Giant Panda: Sort of meant to eat meat but generally must subsist off of bamboo, so it shits 40 times a day and has specific anti-cyanide adaptations. Give birth to twins in about 50% of pregnancies. Preyed upon by snow leopards, move to warmer climes in winter instead of hibernating, will roll in horseshit if necessary to keep warm. 750❂
51 Bush baby: 2❂
52 Moon Bear: 1.5❂, ruthlessly poached for delicious bile, which is believed to impart erection and solve medical maladies by the ruling classes of the Vice Fortresses, who suffer from massive hypochondria. Imagine that animals just cannot feel pain or negative emotions and that’s how people treat these things. That said, in the wild they’re super dangerous- for example, IRL in Kashmir a bear found four assault rifle-wielding insurgents in its den and managed to kill two and maul a third, and then presumably ate the pudding they were making like Goldilocks or something. I don’t know if they even had a chance to shoot it
53 Hawks and Falcons: .5❂ unless you’re in a hyper-aristocratic culture, then pedigree birds up to 125❂
54 Sugar Glider: .25❂
55 Binturong: looks like it’s seen some shit, .5❂
56 Chinchilla: .25❂, in the summer they cheaper
57 Armadillo: 1.5❂, will basically run relentless circuits around the place
58 Giant anteater: 3.5❂. “They look like huuumans! Shaggy huuuumans!” You know who you are
59 Dolphin: young 25❂-50❂, adult (up to 30) 50❂-100❂
60 Tiger 3.5❂-5❂, striped white tiger 15❂, pure white tiger 50❂
61 Lion 2.5❂-7.5❂
62 Snake - ball pythons 10❂-25❂, tree python in rare colors 500❂-1000❂ to aristocratic buyers
63 Genet: 1.5❂
64 Coatimundi: ❂
65 Tenerec: .25❂
66 Skunk: .25❂-.5❂
67 Squirrel .25❂
68 Marmoset: 2.5❂
69 Wolf: 1.5❂. 25% chance of biting you every day, more if you’re an edgelord, will bite and dominate everybody else. Will tear up your place like a bull in a china shop if brought indoors. Doesn’t respond well to coercion-based training, will ignore commands if it’s bored of you. Will annihilate small animals. All that goes for trained wolves raised around humans. They can smell as well as scenthounds, though
70 Llama: 1.5❂
71 Capybara: ❂
72 Possum: ❂
73 Zedonk: 2.5❂
74 Zorse: 15❂
75 Liger: .5❂, get really really huge, often die early when their hearts give out
76 Cama: 10❂
77 Llapaca: 5❂
78 King Cobra: .25❂-.5❂
79 Spitting Cobra: .5❂
80 Jaglion: 5❂
81 Pumapard: 5❂, tend towards dwarfism
82 Giant tortoise: 4❂
83 Great white shark: 500❂
84 Orca whale: 1500❂
85 Rhino: 15❂
86 750lb steer: .5❂ (beef cattle)
87 300lb pedigree hog: .25❂
88 Stud Pig: .25❂-1❂
89 Beefalo: ❂
90 Dzo: 2.5❂ (bigger, stronger and more productive of milk and meat than yaks or cattle in the regions where they meet, though the males are sterile)
91 Yakalo: 3.5❂
92 Bongotunga: 3.5❂
93 Geep: 2.5❂
94 Wholphin: 25❂
95 Narwhal: 1000❂
96 Narluga: 1500❂
97 Orangutan: .25❂
98 Owl: 2❂
99 Lynx: 2❂
100 Fainting Goat: .25❂
Note: Animals previously abused by owners command a huge price markup due to new owners being able to say that they have a “rescue dog” and have it be more than maudlin self-lionizing horseshit
Note: If a guy’s got a platinum arowana and you can get that thing out in a fishbowl to a reasonably wealthy city-state, you can make at least $100,000. This is industrial era treasure baby
Treasure Table J: Services, Memberships, and Events
d20
1 Top service hotel, giant suite in Diadem or Ascension (“Royal Suite”, oftentimes just one per building): 20❂-50❂ per night, generally you get a full personal staff to include chef, butler and private assistant, the largest ones have 5+ bedrooms, marble spa baths, multiple bars and powder rooms, and chauffeured luxury cars
2 Spa treatments- .25❂ a treatment, .5❂ a session, nights from ❂ to 1.5❂
3 High-level haircuts: starts at .25❂, a lot of what they can charge for is maintaining iconic looks, .5-1❂ for apex-level hairstylists. Full service where you get flown in, have a spa treatment, get a bunch of products and hobknob with the stylist can be 7.5❂-12.25❂; stylist can also fly to you for this
4 Stuff like the Bullingdon club (or Bohemian Grove, or Hellfire) membership: 100❂ + 10❂ dues
5 Money laundering services (gambling, modern art, real estate): 10% commission
6 Campaigning a dog in a top show: 50❂-100❂
7 Lunch for four at Eviratee: ❂. Restaurants that are equivalent to 3 Michelin stars start at .25❂ per meal, may need to book months in advance if it’s a place where a chef and staff takes care of a single table in a single room
8 Extensive reist burial at Vatrium, extensive entombment and proceedings at Thanofane: 500❂
9 Performance by notable musician: 50❂-750❂
10 Tattooing by master: .25❂ an hour, full tattoo being 3-30 hours, so .75❂-7.5❂
12 Surgically implanting hooks in your head so you can have gold chains for hair: 7.5❂
13 VIP box at race or opera: 4❂
14 Initiation with the Irae bandit tribe; this is like an extreme “West Cure”. Then you go on a raid with them. After that you have to leave, though.
They do this to make an outsider legible to them, and by extension the current state of outsiders; you come out with a psyche they can understand.
37.5❂
15 Weddings
Can run up to 5000❂-10000❂ for royal affairs and the mightiest merchant houses, can expect more like 1500❂-2500❂ for a splendid high society wedding for ~300 in Ascension.
7500❂-15000❂ you’re getting into true ostentation.
16 Funerals
2500❂-7500❂ for lavish state funerals involving the armed forces in republics, 25000❂-200000❂+ in opulent absolute monarchies
125❂-500❂ for lavish private funeral, assuming a one-day service
17 Staging events (d4)
1 World-class beauty pageant: 7500❂-10000❂
2 Lavish gladiatorial games lasting many days: 17500❂
3 Feast of the swans style mass-knighting ceremony: 4000❂
4 Debutante balls like the Waldorf-Astoria one: 1000❂
18 Crack legal representation: ❂ per hour
19 Bottle service at top club, own section to own room: Starts at .25❂-2.5❂
20 Buy-in at high-level casino-fortress tables: 25❂-250❂
Treasure Table K: Real Estate
Cabin: 10❂
Hideaway blacksite: 17.5❂
Add home alternating current generator 15’ long by 10’ wide by 15’ tall to any property - basically your own power station, requires mechanical energy/work of some kind to power. 50❂
Large apartments in the most exclusive floors of Diadem go for ~5❂ a month, studios more like 2.5❂
Giant beautiful castle-mansion (the lap of splendor and luxury but not really fortified) 75000❂
Enhancements to the grounds (d6)
1 Bosquet with garden rooms: 100❂
2 Nymphaeum with elaborate friezes on subject of your choice: 250❂
3 High mannerist sculpture: requires persuasion of the artist and an acceptable subject
4 Statue centerpiece, actually a solidified spirit- possibly quite unable to communicate or effectively move, may be like a statue, may be gelatinous or in other matter state
5 Garden centerpiece, actually a plant that was once a human and could become one again
6 An abbey or temple that you basically use as your relaxation/meeting grounds
Labor’s cheap, urban real estate is expensive
Multi-story penthouse in a major city: 5000❂-10000❂ to 50000❂-75000❂
Diadem penthouse/private manor in midtown Ascension: 150000❂
Note: Real estate in the most exclusive neighborhoods in Ascension, Troutbridge etc. some of them have clauses that may disallow adventurer types; exclusionary housing codes are not illegal basically anywhere except Great Loom, where they wouldn’t apply to that many people anyways
Cavern remodeled for occult fane, submarine bay: 12500❂
Tropical island rentals, guarded - 250❂
Guarded island in the Little Iguanas, or guarded island in the wine (if you don’t guard the latter you’re gonna lose it): 7500❂-12500❂ for a good-sized island with an attractive manor home and amenities on it. Up to 30000❂ for a nice big island with dozens of buildings, a huge built-up marina and a landing strip.
Best manors/country houses: 250,000❂
Governmental palaces could go for 2,750,000❂ if they were for sale
(Common examples of these things, either more modest or in less central locations, will generally go for half)
Giant modern sports stadium with all amenities: 250,000❂-500,000❂
Railroad: Generally 125❂ per mile if you’re laying down a stone bed. 62.5❂ if not.
Yeah you can build a personal railroad, but you can also charge fees if you expand an existing railroad or open yours for service
Treasure Table L: Common Goons
You’ve shot, stabbed or defenestrated a goon, and now you can do his pockets.
d100
GM: Value is d4❂ / 2
1 Sheaf of banknotes redeemable for coin at large banks
2 Small, silverchased musical instrument
3 Scrolled firearm plated in precious metals
4 Etched and silverchased dagger
5 Wad of panacea
6 Unused hand grenade
7 Valuable pharmaceuticals
8 Gold locket
9 Gold pocket watch
10 Goldclapsed snuff pouch
11 Gold cigarette case
12 Gold-plated lighter
13 Gold plated harmonica
14 Nacre face mask, worn hanging on chest inside shirt
15 Gold teeth
16 Pouch of cocaine (chance of being flour or something)
17 Wristwatch
18 Gold wedding band (or ear, nose, Prince Albert)
19 Silver wedding ring
20 Flashy rings
21 Gold-plated flask
22 Silver flask
23 Gold armlet (inside or outside shirt)
24 Gemstone necklace
25 Jeweled tie pin (in lapel if no tie, or through the nose or something if no lapel)
26 Sapphire or ruby-shard flower in shirt
27 Ivory sheath or holster
28 Gold inlaid lacquerwork fountain pen
29 Jewel-laid ivory cameo of a maenad eviscerating a sorcerer priest
89 Held-out ingot of meteoric dimagnesium triferrodiallosilicate - like 20❂ if you can find the proper merchant or manufacturing combine to acquire it
90 Golden spyglass
91 Jeweled cufflinks
92 Golden craniofacial prosthetic
93 Treasurebound journal; gold, nacre, carnelian
94 Gold bootspurs (may be practical, may be ostentatious and unnecessary)
95 Gilded feather in hat
96 Gold eye with (sapphire/emerald/ruby) and jet iris
97 Gold prosthetic hand
98 Jewel-encrusted pendant watch
99 Livery badge of association (animalform) to fraternal order, master or patron
100 Chinchilla greatcoat (or designer smoked lenses in hot environment)
Sample Backgrounds for Common Goons
d20
1 Served as a capo in a death camp or while a POW before rescue/release.
2 Amateur hitman known for only taking contracts where the target is unlikely to shoot back, like unsuspecting wives.
3 Anarcho-Syndicalist torturer booted from the organization for being too extreme.
4 Right wing death squad member in exile after his city-state’s defeat and his organization’s destruction (or his movement’s success and his personal marginalization as something no longer necessary or desirable).
5 Former low level mob soldier considered a cop magnet and ordered to leave town.
6 Policeman ousted for brutality.
7 Bounty hunter generally blacklisted due to being seemingly unable to take anybody alive.
8 Failed salesman driven to murderous rage, his gun the only thing he feels like he can understand and control.
9 Fighter for underground xenotheocracy at war with xenostygian existential puritans. Fled after column was rewound into obligate thermophiles; he managed to peel off the back before the endoliths reached him.
10 “Asset Protection” corporate mercenary kicked out after PR disaster.
11 Enforcer and living battery for cryptostygian data collation conspiracy; fled, now scared shitless of cryptostygians reaching him pretty much anywhere or holding power in ways most people can’t even imagine.
12 Followed along on a plunder crusade, some time later he washed up on shores of a nation near his homeland and did some time as a slave before escaping.
13 Clerk in service to the banker Knights Tarragon. Made off with a strongbox containing 250❂, spent it within a week.
14 A member of a gang of frontier fighters who specialized in knocking the slats out from under bandit tribes by massacring their homesteads when war parties were away; eventually they fell into a trap set to exploit this exact m.o.
The fighters were tortured and killed in unspeakable ways while this man watched; he was released to tell the tale, but not before having his nose, ears, scalp, foreskin, and pinkies cut off.
15 Red Charter sand thief who didn’t understand throughput and made off with a single barge of sand to sell it. Broke again several weeks later, on the run from former colleagues.
16 A mercenary fighting a colonial rebellion on behalf of an empire. The empire eventually negotiated the colony into becoming a protectorate, but one of the terms was that the mercenaries be handed over to the new state’s authorities. He managed to escape execution by fragging his company commander and claiming to have been pressed into servitude.
17 A rapparee who eventually turned in his band in for a reward and a commission; the occupying force neglected to give him either in the end, and he suffered a mock execution during which his band was hanged all at once and his trapdoor was the only one that didn’t drop, after which he was released.
18 Preacher who offered tutorship in morality to daughters of remote homesteaders, exploited the trust of their families, ended up killing two members of a posse of fathers pursuing him.
19 Servant who seduced a scullery maid, had her steal the lady’s jewels so they could run away and start a new life together. He cut her throat and then made off with the jewels, but had to abandon them at a guard checkpoint.
20 Made the heart-stabber of a rural cult, managed to just slip away when the rangers closed in.
Sample Outlooks for Common Goons
d20
1 I’m the kind of guy who’s meant to be a knight but I was born under the wrong circumstances, and society can’t accept the level that I operate at.
2 It doesn’t matter what the rules are or what’s fair. I’m me. I’m #1.
3 I’ve never had anything. All I’ve known are rats, roaches, shitty canned food, burning summers and freezing winters. I’m not gonna wait any longer. Other people are gonna die before I let myself go back into poverty.
4 I’m doing this to raise money for (d4) [International Revolutionary Anarcho-Syndicalism / My Liege / A Nationalist Militia Abroad / My Drug Habit].
5 Now I’ve got money, I’ve got respect, I’ve got freedom, and I’ve got ladies of the night. When I was just an average dude I never had those things. In light of that, why should I give a fuck about what YOU think?
6 I’m crazy so you’d better keep your distance. They should have killed me at birth or locked me up forever. Too bad. I don’t give a fuck who I kill and I cannot be predicted. Since I’ll never be held accountable, your best bet is to tread lightly and never tempt me.
7 I don’t want to hurt anybody. I don’t believe in violence. But if you fuck with me I HAVE to kill you or at least beat you senseless. PLEASE do not screw with me.
8 If you disrespect somebody then all bets are off. GOD I hope somebody fucks with me. An old woman or a quadriplegic could talk shit and I’d still beat their brains in.
9 Only a sucker would do something he doesn’t wanna do. Wage labor is tantamount to slavery and if you participate in it you deserve to be ripped off. I’m not gonna participate or such a corrupt, fucked up system or have any sympathy for anyone who does. Plus, after you’ve killed one person in a way the courts consider unjustified, what real difference is there in terms of consequence if you kill five? Ten? Twenty?
10 This is the way nobles behave. It’s the way republics and religions behave on the world stage. Don’t tell me I’m wrong to follow suit just because some other set of rules theoretically applies to you and I.
11 “Theft is but restitution carried out by an individual to his own benefit, being conscious of another's undue monopolization of collectively produced wealth” - Clément Duval
12 I’m a decent guy but don’t let me get ahold of some liquor or the animal’s coming out of the cage.
13 Society fucked me in every way and I’m a reflection of its brutality. I’m gonna get my revenge, and after that I’m sure I won’t be long for this earth. Things couldn’t have turned out for me any other way
14 If you give an inch they’ll take a mile. I’m not big or intimidating but if you slight me in any way I’ll stab you faster than you can believe. The alternative is to be subjected to brutality so relentless that I will kill before I allow myself to be carried one step in that direction.
15 My narrow identity group are the only real people and everybody else are utterly inferior and fair game. {Supremacism acquired in (d4): Prison / Filibustering expedition / Childhood / Ultranationalist military order unit}
16 My back’s against the wall. I’m just doing what I have to do in order to feed the people I care about. But give me any lip and I’ll kill you and bang your girlfriend.
17 This is all I know. If I has been weak, if I hadn’t become a predator, I’d have been brutalized in the worst way, by authority figures and peers. I have no friends, only potential victims, and the only person I’ve ever loved is my mother. She doesn’t know what I do and I’ll cut your head off before you tell her.
18 My religion sanctions the raiding of infidels, and I don’t think you’re one of the flock. This is god’s will, otherwise it wouldn’t be happening!
[..]
Fuck, I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me!
(d4: 1 Vier Reism, 2 Radiant Monadism, 3 some kind of polytheism and he worships the god of e.g. thievery/strife, 4 new interpretation of existing god)
19 This society’s gone to the dogs and I’m gonna get mine before it all goes down in flames.
20 The human race is obviously evil and everything else is bullshit, niceties, and sheltered naïveté. Your contemptible slave morality doesn’t apply to me so go fuck your own face before I do it. This is predator and prey.
Treasure Table M: Personnel
Labor is very cheap except for the most elite professions and renowned experts. Most people are looking for a *sure thing*. Players can retain employees pretty easily because however much of a menace to society an adventurer is, player characters usually treat loyal employees pretty well.
Select Roles (d6)
1 Personal psychotherapist: 42.5❂ per annum
2 Secretary who comes with her own team of secretaries: 90❂ per annum
3 Romantic “pets”; sugar daddy/mama relationships: 15❂-60❂ per annum
4 Personal crack attorney: 200❂ per annum
5 Chef: ❂ per week
6 Emergency room set up in your home (surgeon, a handful of supporting medical personnel, ward with equipment and supplies); people will hate you if they know about it unless you open it to the public. 500❂ to establish, 500❂ per year wages and supplies.
General Labor Price Bands
Price of labor in most developed city-states begins at 7.5❂-10❂. A single ❂ is for the truly desperate.
Skilled professional in specific field e.g. Administrator/courtesan/engineer/architect
Expert in non-applied academic discipline Knight: includes mutual oaths; generally you need some claim to nobility although you can found a Merchant House and freely employ knights
Psychologist
50❂+
Attorney
Surgeon
Famous artist
Famous courtesan
MERCENARIES
d6
1 Desperately poor gunman: 2.5❂-5❂ per annum
2 Retained criminal: 13❂ per annum
3 Competent former soldier: 35❂ per annum
4 ^Officer, bring on additional men to maximize value: 50❂ per annum
= 2767.5❂ per quarter, the minimum employment period (generally with 1 operation expected)
Multiply by 10 for a 10000-man Great Company (there are 2 or 3 in the world at any given time) ie 110700❂ per annum, or 111100❂ if the leader commands a premium for being in charge of such a huge unit.
These prices are for the kind of mercenaries that turn brigand in lean times and won’t be nearly as reliable as aristocratic house troops and retainers, though they may have more specialized expertise in e.g. combat engineering. For Swiss-style professionals, double or triple the above prices depending on veterancy and equipment i.e. integrated tanks, artillery and air support = triple price.
Treasure Table N: Diegetic Specialties
Noteworthy Shopping Districts
Black Atrium: Midtown Archzenith. Chic to heaps-of-pure-gold gaudy.
Skeleton Quay: Coastal marina in Cape Cittacotte with service to private resorts in the Little Iguanas. Dealers for almost every luxury brand in the world.
Dogtrash Alley: Attar. Avant-garde, still expensive as hell.
Specialties from city-states commonly mentioned hitherto
Mandrake: Furs, jewelry, ostentatious couture/national costumery, liquor, ornate and extreme weapons, highly skilled courtesans, highly skilled manservants and manservant-bodyguards, swords
Ascension: Aircraft, cars, luggage, the icier side of high fashion
Starling & Shrike (agents-only or with an agent as a guarantor): Ornate pistols, seized assets, banking and financial services
Atrialia: Maximum purity drugs, customized weapons which tend to be illegal elsewhere (get your dragon-headed flamethrower, grenades arbitrarily pineappled with obsidian, gilded mortar), the outrageous side of high fashion
